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‘Jesus Take the Wheel Act’ passes House

Posted on February 8th, 2015 at 0:28 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


House members on Thursday passed a bill exempting mid-sized church buses from the state’s commercial driver’s license requirements, prompting one lawmaker to call it the “Jesus Take the Wheel Act.”

The bill, HB 132, would help congregations lacking a CDL-certified driver transport up to 30 passengers in a church-owned vehicle. Although applying equally to all churches, it’s primarily aimed at smaller congregations with fewer members and financial resources.

It now heads to the Senate for consideration.

“This just allows small churches, some don’t have people with commercial licenses at all, and they can pick a person to drive the bus,” said state Rep. Robert Johnson III, D-Natchez, who chairs the Transportation Committee which had passed the bill earlier in the session.

Current law requires CDL-certified drivers for any vehicle transporting more than 16 passengers, including the driver. The bill would amend that law to exempt church buses designed to carry 30 passengers or less.

As an ordained minister in the Church of the FSM, how do I go about applying for this exemption so I can drive a schoolbus full of my drunk congregation around town from “sacred nectar dispensary” to the next “sacred nectar dispensary”?

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  1. Oh, c’mon. Be sporting and let the Devil drive!

Scientists pledge to increase interference with the Church

Posted on February 4th, 2015 at 16:22 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


The Federation for Furthering Science (FFS) has promised to intervene with any and all religious issues it can find that could benefit from some “scientific perspective”.

Dr Hugh Briss, spokesperson for FFS, explained the motivation for this policy.

“While they’re often at each other’s throats in other countries like the US, in the UK religion and science have mostly maintained an uneasy peace, largely by both ignoring whatever the other is doing (with some notable exceptions).

“But this interjection in approving a procedure that’s been extensively studied and refined by world-leading experts over several years on very questionable grounds? Well, that’s what we call a “bad precedent”. So if representatives of the churches are allowed to do that, then logically we as representatives of science are allowed to do the same? Or is that “persecution”?

Some of the objections raised by the Church have come under particular scrutiny from FFS, such as the accusation that mitochondrial donation will result in “three-parent families”.

“Even if that was true, which is isn’t, at no point has it ever been explained why this is an especially bad thing,” Dr Briss pointed out. “Seriously though; why is a three-parent family such a negative? Is it in the Bible? Wasn’t Jesus himself the result of a three-parent family? Or did I get the wrong idea there? I don’t see how you can tell people that two parents is the only thing permissible while insisting they call God “our father”, but maybe it’s just me”.

Another objection raised by the Church of England is that there is not 100% scientific certainty that the procedure will work and is safe. Another member of FFS, Dr Black (first name Potkettle) says she looked forward to applying these same stringent requirements to the policies and practices of the church.

“I’ve already produced a new version of the Bible that leaves out anything that can’t be 100% confirmed by science. It’s much more streamlined now, which is handy as you can fit it all on a postcard and mail it to people, rather than going door-to-door”.

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  1. FFS? Oh, please…

Montana pastor to lawmakers: We discriminate against incest, why not gay people?

Posted on February 3rd, 2015 at 12:44 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Boettger said he wanted to address a topic that he had not heard addressed during the hearing.

“We do, as a culture and as a people, discriminate against behavior, and whether it is voluntary, innate, in-born, a choice, it is really not relevant to the point that it is indeed behavior,” he explained. “For instance, we discriminate against incest. We discriminate against child molestation. We discriminate against a long list of behaviors that have long been believed to be wrong.”

Boettger said he didn’t understand why anyone would want to protect LGBT people from discrimination.

Religious leaders can’t seem to understand the concept of “consent”, which might also explain why they keep raping children.

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  1. You know you’re a redneck when you appear in front of a legislative hearing wearing nothing but long underwear.

  2. Bad choice of title given that incest can be consensual.

Jim Jeffries

Posted on February 2nd, 2015 at 20:08 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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Wait, let me get my surprised face…

Posted on February 2nd, 2015 at 19:44 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


James David Manning, who is pastor at ATLAH Missionary Church in Harlem, New York, said last year that i t was ‘the absolute truth’ that Starbucks flavoured their drinks with the ‘semen of sodomites’

And speaking on the Young Turks, Manning admitted that despite his vehement homophobia, he has been tempted himself by the gay lifestyle.

Pastor: “OMG, there’s SEMEN in this latte!!!”

Starbucks: “No, sir, there’s no semen in our lattes.”

Pastor: “…Could there be?”

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  1. OK, let’s do the math. Or maybe not. Sorry.

Woman Who Vandalized Satanic Display in Florida Capitol Says Being Punished Would Be an Attack on Her Faith

Posted on January 31st, 2015 at 12:51 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Last month, we learned that The Satanic Temple’s display in the Florida State Capitol Building had been vandalized.

It turned out that the vandal was Susan Hemeryck, a 54-year-old Tea Party activist who wore a shirt with the phrase “Catholic Warrior” on it.


“We are not sure there was a crime,” Hemeryck’s attorney Mike Bauer said. “I think this case represents the state basically putting an attack on Christians. That would be her viewpoint.”

By this logic, the Klansman lynching an immigrant or African-American may not be committing a crime, as he may feel that his own culture is under assault by encroaching outsiders.

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  1. Oh dear, someone’s off her meds again. If it wasn’t for this quick thinking lawyer she would be fined $25, have to agree to keep the peace for a year* and be on her way to the next T.P. rally.

    *Or your local equivalent for annoying and time wasting nutters who get brought up before the court.

  2. Sigh. And when the court agrees with her, there will be a defense for others attacking Ten Commandments monuments and nativity scenes.

    I’ll see your nut job and raise you three.

Stephen Fry on God | The Meaning Of Life

Posted on January 30th, 2015 at 13:55 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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  1. What’s the difference between Stephen Fry and god?

  2. I love the look on the interviewer’s face.

The real agenda for the forced-birth March for Life crowd in one creepy tweet

Posted on January 23rd, 2015 at 19:57 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Those tramps. Those harlots. The trollops. Those long lean thighs….

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  1. Yoga pants! It’s like two hardboiled eggs in a bag, I tell ya!

Should human rights always outweigh religious rights?

Posted on January 17th, 2015 at 18:27 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

The mental gymnastics that are needed to reach the conclusions of most religious folk in that debate/dialogue is maddening. They want the right to wear a hijab but deny the right to wear a t-shirt, and they utterly fail to see the problem..

Majid Nawaz even got death threats for saying that he was not offended.

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  1. Human rights MUST prevail! All religions disagree just about everything, so which is going to prevail? As far as I’m concerned, religions and religious demonstrations should be banned in public. Let people practice in private whatever/however they want, but LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR CRAP!

  2. And, it’s about time the US government gets off the fence. There is no middle ground! Quit doing business with dictators and royal pain in the asses.

  3. “Inalienable human rights”. What do they not fucking get?

  4. Agree. Why is their even a debate? Reason: Education failure; Religious indoctrination. Organized religions are like mafias, actually worse, and should be treated as such. As Spaceman said, practice in private and keep it out of politics and law.

  5. Best of friends, a Christian, a Muslim, a Jew, a Buddhist, an agnostic and an atheist walked into their local, The Garden of Eden.

    After many rounds of drinks a fight started (it was the agnostic’s round, although he claimed it wasn’t because the Muslim was only drinking Coke).

    Observing the chaos, the publican loudly rang the closing bell – the fighters stopped and stared at him.

    The publican said, “I created the world in seven days and now I hafta deal with this! You’re all barred! Get out!”

    There was a wailing and a gnashing of teeth. Sorrowing, they went on their way.

  6. Sue, maybe if he had taken a little more time?

‘Boy Who Came Back From Heaven’ going back to publisher

Posted on January 16th, 2015 at 10:59 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Tyndale House, a major Christian publisher, has announced that it will stop selling “The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven,” by Alex Malarkey and his father, Kevin Malarkey.

The best-selling book, first published in 2010, describes what Alex experienced while he lay in a coma after a car accident when he was 6 years old. The coma lasted two months, and his injuries left him paralyzed, but the subsequent spiritual memoir — with its assuring description of “Miracles, Angels, and Life beyond This World” — became part of a popular genre of “heavenly tourism,” which has been controversial among orthodox Christians.

Earlier this week, Alex recanted his testimony about the afterlife. In an open letter to Christian bookstores posted on the Pulpit and Pen Web site, Alex states flatly: “I did not die. I did not go to Heaven.”

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  1. Another fraud based on religion. Shocking. I’m glad I can still find the truth in the Bible and Koran (snark).

  2. I was going to ask whether he would be giving the money back. Then I read that he wasn’t receiving money from the book and it became clear that the christian publishing industry is just as exploitative as any 3rd world sweatshop.

  3. I just noted one thing: Malarkey!

  4. Gareth, they’ve been ripping off GOD for over 2,000 years. Imagine what his royalties would have been.

Pope Francis on Freedom of Speech: ‘One Cannot Make Fun of Faith’

Posted on January 15th, 2015 at 19:50 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Pope Francis suggested there are limits to freedom of expression, saying in response to the Charlie Hebdo terror attack that “one cannot make fun of faith” and that anyone who throws insults can expect a “punch.”


To illustrate his point, he joked about Vatican aide Alberto Gasparri who was standing nearby on the plane.

“It’s true that we can’t react violently, but, for example if Dr. Gasbarri here, a great friend of mine, says a curse word against my mother, then a punch awaits him,” the pontiff said.

All it really illustrates, Francis, is that you are a petty, small-minded person.

Matthew 5:39

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  1. Wait, Francis, a punch is a non violent act. Another f_cking hypocritical religious asshole.

  2. Previous Pontiffs have done more global harm in fewer words while staying on-message – Francis’s previous statements have made it clear that he cares more about people than about purity of faith.

    Here, he seems to be saying that it’s human nature to react violently to a perceived attack on something held dear. It was likely intended as a caution against blasphemy just to annoy others, like shouting “FIRE!” in a crowded cathedral. It’s a pity that he didn’t take it a step further to say that the moral response is to seek reconciliation rather than recompense: instead, he presented a parable in which he (the Pope!) would commit violence. Given that he’s held to be infallible, that’s implicitly preaching violence.

    Okay, suddenly I agree with Mykolas. 🙁

  3. I believe that we not only have the right to mock some things that people believe but we also have an obligation to do so.

    So the pope has violated my beliefs by saying that we don’t have that right. Does that give me the right to punch him in the face?

  4. Alright, that punching bit is a really odd thing for this Pope to say. Odd enough to make you wonder if it was translated right.

    Now I know this Pope isn’t perfect and I know he hasn’t acted on the child abuse issues in the way we would hope. But John, the way you seem determined to find fault with this otherwise remarkable character actually makes *you* look petty and small-minded. Look at the big picture. Look at the direction of change.

  5. What direction? No Catholic doctrine changed: attitude towards important stuff like women’s rights, contraception condoms, homosexuality, nothing is changing at all. All I see is a lot of slick PR, and in this particular interview he showed how shallow he really is.

  6. “Religion is an idea, and, as an idea, it should be eligible for criticism, discussion, and yes, mockery. The only reason so many believers demand special exceptions be made for religious ideas is because they know full well that their ideas don’t hold up well under scrutiny.

    -Amanda Marcotte

    Draw your conclusions on what the pope really believes….

  7. I’m more than willing to concede that this pope is better than his predecessor, in kind of the same way that an E. coli infection is better than an E. coli infection and accidentally chopping off your hand with a chainsaw.

  8. @Mudak: There are E. coli and then there are E. coli that can kill you.

    Ol’ Frankie there is a Jesuit. I seem to think they don’t do turning the other cheek (except for that terrible joke about altar boys).

  9. I gotta say, the new comments about “breeding like rabbits” are awkward but the B.S. about “outside [i.e. non-religions socially progressive] groups should not meddle in people’s values” stuff is so hypocritical from a Jesuit that it made my head kersplode.

  10. @Desiato: If I want to persuade his customers to join my entertainment complex and he forbids them to (on pain of eternal penalty payments) isn’t that anti-competitive behaviour? Can I take him to the WTO?

Saudi cleric condemns …….. as anti-Islamic

Posted on January 12th, 2015 at 15:33 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News

Is it A) terrorism; B) child marriage; or C) building snowmen for fun?

Check your guess here.

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Pastor brags about punching ‘dangerously bright’ kid

Posted on January 11th, 2015 at 9:54 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

Yeah, because anyone who isn’t following YOUR god exactly deserves “whatever happens to them” right? Including anything any religious person feels like doing to them.

Reminds me of Paris somehow…

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  1. An admission of assault? Proud of it? Nice.

    I do agree with this flock herder about one thing. Smart is dangerous to his type.

No minimum age for marriage of girls

Posted on January 3rd, 2015 at 12:24 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Saudi Arabia’s religious leader, Sheikh Abdulaziz Al Asheikh, has said that he does not plan to restrict the minimum age for marriage for women to 15 years, contravening a recent proposal from the country’s Ministry of Justice.

In an interview with the Al Riyadh, reported by the Saudi Gazette, the Grand Mufti described the marriage of girls below that age as “permissible”.

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  1. Dress-wearing old geezers’ views on sex, marriage, women (or anything else) is defined as “religion”.

  2. If Mohammed did it, it must be OK.

  3. @chas WWMD?

Death of Leelah Alcorn

Posted on December 31st, 2014 at 9:14 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.

Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in … because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.

When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.

When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

I formed a sort of a “fuck you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.

So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.

At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a shit about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.

After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.


(Leelah) Josh Alcorn

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  1. It does get worse before it gets better. I am very sad that she couldn’t bear it any longer.

    “Christian” therapy sounds like abuse for an intelligent person to undergo.

‘Best Christmas gift’: 2 Indonesian families praise luck for missing doomed AirAsia flight

Posted on December 29th, 2014 at 15:20 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Chandra Susanto, who had been planning a holiday in Singapore with his wife and three children since March, had to cancel it a day before the due date, because his father got ill.

“It was a difficult decision to make because my son Christopher was so disappointed,” Susanto told the Daily Mail Australia. “He had been looking forward to the holiday for a long time.”

Susanto has now posted a picture of his QZ8501 ticket on Facebook, praising Christ for the miraculous escape.

“Thank you, Lord Jesus. Your plan is so beautiful, our family safe from harm,” he wrote.

And Lord Jesus meanwhile says “Fuck You” to the 162 people on the plane.

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  1. Most people get to make stupid blunders privately. The gutter press specialises in this kind of sh*t – manufacturing egregious outrage at some silly person or a celebrity. Sometimes it ruins their life.

    But in the spirit of piling in let’s hope the father doesn’t die. That wouldn’t be so beautiful.

The Islamic State is failing at being a state

Posted on December 26th, 2014 at 12:27 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


The Islamic State’s vaunted exercise in state-building appears to be crumbling as living conditions deteriorate across the territories under its control, exposing the shortcomings of a group that devotes most of its energies to fighting battles and enforcing strict rules.

Services are collapsing, prices are soaring, and medicines are scarce in towns and cities across the “caliphate” proclaimed in Iraq and Syria by the Islamic State, residents say, belying the group’s boasts that it is delivering a model form of governance for Muslims.

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Jury awards ‘grave immoral sinner’ Catholic teacher $1.9 million for in vitro fertilization firing

Posted on December 22nd, 2014 at 21:12 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Emily Herx, a language arts teacher at St. Vincent de Paul Catholic School, was notified by the Ft. Wayne Diocese that her contract for the 2011-12 school year would not be renewed because of her use of in vitro, which the diocese described as a “sin.”


The jury decided in Herx’s favor, deliberating only 5 1/2 hours before awarding her $1.75 million for emotional and physical damages, $125,000 for medical expenses, $75,000 for lost wages, and $1.00 in punitive damages. Herx’s previous salary at the school was approximately $28,000 per year.


The diocese intends to appeal the jury’s verdict to the U.S. 7th Circuit Court of Appeal, with attorney John Theisen stating the case remains an issue of religious freedom, and that exemptions in civil rights laws for religious employers should have protected the diocese from the unfavorable verdict.

“It never should have brought the case to trial,” Theisen said.

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Guess how this sentence continues…

Posted on December 21st, 2014 at 16:09 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


A US pastor who leads a church which preaches against homosexuality has been arrested for…

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  1. practicing animal husbandry?

  2. I would like it to be “being a US pastor who leads a church which preaches against homosexuality”

  3. Does it have something to do with the unexpected discharge of a concealed weapon?

  4. The first name of the pastor “Gaylard” – how cute 🙂 (a=o)

Deuteronomy 15:11

Posted on December 11th, 2014 at 14:10 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Despite a significant rise in income inequality in Texas, Gov. Rick Perry (R) is arguing that it’s not something the state ought to be worried about.

“We don’t grapple with that here,” Perry told The Washington Post in a recent interview, while acknowledging that the state’s richest residents have seen the greatest spike in earnings.

“Biblically, the poor are always going to be with us in some form or fashion,” he added, an apparent reference to Mark 14:7.

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Pope Francis: ‘All Animals Go To Heaven’

Posted on December 10th, 2014 at 16:06 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


Pope Francis has declared that all animals go to heaven during his weekly audience in St. Peter’s Square.

The Pope made these remarks after he received two donkeys as early Christmas presents. During his discussion, Pope Francis quoted the apostle Paul as he comforted a child who was mourning the death of his dog.

Francis quoted Paul’s remarks as, “One day we will see our animals again in eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all God’s creatures.”

Oh shit

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  1. Heaven must be more than knee deep in arthropods.

And their return policy is probably “Store Credit Only”

Posted on December 10th, 2014 at 16:00 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


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  1. Can’t get the money back? OK, what can we exchange for this baby?

You can see where this is going, right?

Posted on December 9th, 2014 at 10:34 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


According to its website, the Westcity Bible Baptist Church is a “family-oriented independent Bible-believing Baptist church”.

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  1. When will these asshats learn to keep their religion out of our shorts?! Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, I don’t care! Keep your religious beliefs but don’t burden me with them… I have my own, but I don’t expect that all others will adhere to them, nor do I proselytize or try to convert others. If they want to have a rational discussion, then ok, but this crap (praying that a person commits suicide because of their sexual orientation) is just outrageous!

  2. Clearly the abuser doesn’t actually believe in the power of prayer – he had to send a nasty message. It must be so frustrating that their god isn’t striking most of the world dead.

  3. Spiff, I have the one true religion. I update it daily as requested in my daily conversations with God. Who, by the way, has a wonderful sense of humor.

Matt Inman: Jibbers Crabst

Posted on December 7th, 2014 at 16:18 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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  1. Love the translator!

Religiosity In Europe, The Glass Ceiling And Doctor Performance

Posted on November 19th, 2014 at 9:17 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


“One additional year of schooling reduces individuals’ propensity to pray every day by about 10 percentage points. Likewise, an additional year of full-time education reduces the propensity to attend religious services at least once a week by 10 percentage points. We also find that schooling reduces the propensity to believe in the protective power of lucky charms, and it decreases the tendency to consult horoscopes, and to take into account horoscopes in daily life.”

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  1. Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore

Religion is a great way for people with mental illness to seem normal.

Posted on November 17th, 2014 at 16:09 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


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  1. lol, if this person was trying to pass as normal, then FAIL.

    Any person, religious or otherwise would find this kooky.

  2. Normal, yup. Attaching the wooden crosses _before_ deciding what colour they should be…

  3. Are you sure he isn’t just trying to be prepared for when the vampires attack?

  4. “Religion is a great way for people with mental illness to seem normal”

    Well, so is being a rabid football fan. They actually seem more normal than this.

  5. I wonder what this picture would look like if Jesus had been killed by an M-16?

  6. Think of the other images that would follow. Congregations kneeling and praying in front of a giant M-16. Priests and nuns and all manner of godbotherers wearing tiny M-16s around their necks. Bowing and genuflecting before the M-16; blessing and comforting with the sacred M-16. Churches built in the shape of an M-16; television evangelists building swimming pools in the shape of an M-16. Etc…

  7. I have read that Christianity is unique in using an instrument of torture as its symbol. I’m sure there are other less well known/pagan religions that do something similar tho.

  8. @Michael: As to your first point, that’s because football fans believe in things that are, sort of, possible – even if they may be sadly deluded in the case of some individuals.

    As to your second point, this goes to show that “loser chic” wasn’t actually an invention of the 1990’s.

17 more Twin Cities priests ID’d as probable pedophiles

Posted on October 29th, 2014 at 22:11 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News


The Twin Cities archdiocese and the law offices of Jeff Anderson issued a joint statement Thursday disclosing names of 17 priests with “substantiated” claims of sexual abuse of a minor — including four previously unknown to the public.

The names bring to 55 the number of priests deemed to have substantiated claims of child sexual abuse within the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis.

Ten of the 17 priests have died, “but the pain they caused is very much alive,” Archbishop John Nienstedt said in a news release.

“I am profoundly saddened and sorry for the harm clergy sexual abuse has caused victims and survivors, their families and the community.”

How profoundly sorry? So profound, it took a lawsuit settlement before the names were released.

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  1. An interesting list of “disclosures” on their website:

    Most of the little biographies that I randomly clicked on, showed that these men were allowed to work in the church until death or retirement.

    To the archdiocese’s credit, the Rebort Abuse button is prominent on their website. And they tell you to go to law enforcement first…

One Ebola, Two Eboli?

Posted on October 13th, 2014 at 14:05 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


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  1. There’s that “joke” again.

    A small boy goes to confession.
    “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I went to a brothel and had sex with three prostitutes.”
    “Whyever did you do that Johnny? Don’t you know that it’s a mortal sin?”
    “I know what it is and I want it.”
    “Don’t you know that you could go to Hell for it?”
    “I know what it is and I want it.”
    “Don’t you know that you could pick up a sexually transmitted disease?”
    “I know what it is and I want it.”
    “Whatever for? You would suffer horribly!”
    “Because if I get it, the maid will get it. If the maid gets it, my father will get it. If my father gets it, my mother will get it. If my mother gets it, the gardener will get it. And he’s the bastard I want. He killed my frog!”

Unfortunately, he’s not talking about Catholic priests

Posted on October 11th, 2014 at 10:44 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


Vatican’s top judge: Keep kids away from ‘wrong, evil’ gays for their own protection

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  1. Clearly a follower of Jesus Christ…

No, you’re not

Posted on October 11th, 2014 at 10:30 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane, Pastafarian News


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  1. Way to sweep ebola under the rug.

  2. a variation on the same old crap we’ve heard about AIDS, the black death, etc.
    This never goes away. Just a Christian version of the Ghost shirt.

  3. Actually I think redemption technically happens after death, so you may not be so safe, Tile & Carpet World.

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