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Don’t Bring That Game Around These Parts

Posted on July 3rd, 2014 at 20:40 by John Sinteur in category: batshitinsane -- Write a comment


If I encountered these losers in my local Exton, Pennsylvania Target store, I’d be inclined to shoot them all preemptively on the assumption that anyone that heavily armed is in the process of going on a killing spree.


Look at the dazed look in these men’s eyes and the way that “Hope for Bacon” clutches his blessed Oreo cookies. These men are not only heavily armed, they are heavily drugged.

Around these parts, real men don’t carry firearms, and certainly not the semi-automatic variety. Which is why I wouldn’t be able to shoot these men in my local Target. I wouldn’t be armed.

Now, I understand that Target has put up signs in some locations asking losers not to bring their long guns into the store, but it’s only a polite request in some of these crazy states because the law says that stores can’t do a damn thing about it. How do you tell the difference between the fools pictured above and an impending armed robbery or spree killing?

I have no fucking clue.

  1. Shoot first and let God sort them out.

  2. Target is a corporation.

    This act of political protest (which Target also requests not happen in or near their stores) would cause reputational damage to the corporation.

    Therefore, assuming that the Target store is in a jurisdiction with stand-your-ground laws, the action is clear: gun down the open-carry activists in an act of corporate self-defense.

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