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Outlawing Unbelief

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 23:43 by John Sinteur in category: Pastafarian News

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It’s often forgotten, but seven states of the Union still define atheists, secular humanists, and other freethinkers as second-class citizens. The state constitutions of Arkansas, Maryland, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas retain historic provisions that ban unbelievers-and in some cases, minority religionists as well-from holding public office, bearing witness in court, or both. The Pennsylvania and Texas constitutions go further yet, declaring their debt to “Almighty God” in their preambles.

Typical language includes Article IX, Sec. 2, of the Tennessee constitution (engagingly titled “No Atheist shall hold a civil office”): “No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments shall hold any office in the civil department of this state.”

Article XIX, Sec. 1, of the Arkansas constitution is even more exclusionary: “No person who denies the being of a God shall hold any office in the civil departments of this State, nor be competent to testify as a witness in any court.”

Article 37 of Maryland’s constitution provides that “no religious test ought ever to be required as a qualification for any office of profit or trust in this State, other than a declaration of belief in the existence of God” (emphasis added).

Article I, Sec. 4, of Pennsylvania’s constitution is more insidious: “No person who acknowledges the being of a God and a future state of rewards and punishments shall, on account of his religious sentiments, be disqualified to hold any office or place of trust under this Commonwealth.”

This is because people who don’t believe in an all-powerful bearded old man in the sky who created the universe in six days and helps NFL players get touchdowns while allowing twenty thousand kids to die of starvation every day might not tell the truth…


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Ryanair threatens government over airport security

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 23:10 by John Sinteur in category: Security

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Ryanair today threatened to sue the government for compensation unless airport security measures are returned to normal within seven days.

Michael O’Leary, the outspoken chief executive of Ryanair, described the new restrictions as “farcical Keystone Cops security measures that don’t add anything except to block up airports”, as he issued the ultimatum.


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“It’s not Citizen Kane, it’s Snakes on a Plane?

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 23:08 by John Sinteur in category: News

[Quote:]

Should you see Snakes on a Plane? Yes, but if you weren’t in Theater 16 on Thursday night you’ve already missed the greatest showing there will ever be of this movie. I invited my friend Mike to the show, and he brought a printout of the Snakes on a Plane Participation Script. Well before showtime, he helped the audience learn the key lines: anytime the asian bad guy finishes a sentence, yell “…in bed!?; anytime a sentence ends in “snakes,? yell “motherfucking snakes!?; anytime Samuel L Jackson yells at someone, add “...bitch!? for emphasis; etc. It was a little like a Rocky Horror Screening, except that nobody had seen the movie yet. So when the entire theater found out that adding “in bed? actually works for damn near everything the asian guy says, it was hilarity topped with the joy of discovery.

Hear Samuel Jackson talk about it:


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How right-wingers see the NYT

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 23:05 by John Sinteur in category: Funny!, News

Check it out


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Cartoons

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 9:44 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon

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Patriotism

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 9:29 by John Sinteur in category: Quote

[Quote:]

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950)


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CDA

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 9:24 by John Sinteur in category: Cartoon, Nederland is Gek!

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Bug spray

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 9:22 by John Sinteur in category: Joke

“Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it.”

The farmer was dubious. “Young man, I’ll make you a proposition. I’ll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I’ll buy a whole case from you.

The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped.The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake.

Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. “Son,” he said, “Now, you don’t have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?”

The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,

“Doesn’t that calf have a mother?”


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UK bank details sold in Nigeria

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 9:06 by John Sinteur in category: Security

[Quote:]

Bank account details belonging to thousands of Britons are being sold in West Africa for less than £20 each, the BBC’s Real Story programme has found.

It discovered that fraudsters in Nigeria were able to find internet banking data stored on recycled PCs sent from the UK to Africa.


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Australian IT

Posted on August 19th, 2006 at 9:04 by John Sinteur in category: ¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ, News, Software

[Quote:]

Australian Pharmaceutical Industries needed to go beyond spreadsheets to improve its budgeting and make its business processes more flexible.

New reporting software also enabled generation of thousands of reports from an enterprise resource planning system.

The ERP system has become a bone of contention for the owner of the Priceline chain of stores and distributor of pharmaceutical and allied products.

And in the same news paper that the above glowing articlee, praising the new financial reporting system appeared in, you can find this article:

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Australian Pharmaceutical Industries revealed yesterday that it had lost $17 million – and a managing director – but was unable or unwilling to discuss the details behind either.

API is refusing to explain the reasons for the shock resignation of chief executive Jeff Sher, after the company discovered a $17 million hole in its accounts which is still being investigated.


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